God's timing in all things

Deep cleansing breath...

We don't have a date yet when the new law surrounding fertility will officially change. We do know it is set to change "sometime in December (2015)" and will only allow us to have ONE chance at IVF once the law change takes place. So just like that we go from three chances to one chance in a blink of an eye. All this time wasted with tests... here we are still waiting for my cycle to start....

I have to admit I was so angry when I found out the news. I ranted for a good three hours until I could calm down again...I've been praying like crazy and not even praying for three chances, so much, but for one of two things to happen:

1) We have baby with only ONE IVF/ICSI session!!! Whoo-hoo! This would be the most awesome miracle of all... seriously I'd do the ugly happy cry... It would make me all blotchy and puffy...so not pretty, but totally want it to happen anyhow!

2) We are able to squeeze in two IVF/ICSI sessions before the law changes in December. This is still a possibility since we don't know the actual date yet... The later and closer to Christmas it is the better our chances will be of this possibility. (My next goal is to find out how long between sessions you have to wait to recover from IVF sessions.)

I'm trying to stay positive and just hope my cycle comes on time so baby making at the clinic can happen.

In the meantime, good news! The couple on YouTube that I am following who are going through their own IVF cycle may be pregnant with Baby #2! Squee! I'm so thrilled for them!

It's so exciting to see someone else's joy and positivity through this whole process! SOOO inspring!

.....Lastly I am considering doing my own YouTube vlogs about our IVF/ICSI journey....

Why am I consider this crazy idea? I want more women/couples who are mildly physically disabled see the process through what we go through. Even in the 21st Century, women who are physically challenged, still have to fight for right to bear children. We are judged by doctors and nurses, told we shouldn't try and have children. "It's too risky with your condition," they say to us, not realizing that there is viable research out there showing that Cerebral Palsy doesn't affect our ability to carry healthy chidlren to term without any complication to the child or mother.

That right.... that right that every woman in this world has is still so rare to us.... I have felt a calling from God to document our journey and now I think the Lord is leading me to document in a highly vulnerable way...

I hate pictures and video of myself. I'm overweight and it's really hard to be "okay" with seeing myself captured at the weight I am but I know journey is not about me, or even about Chris and me; it's about God and His desires for our life.....

I guess Carrie Sue from the YouTube videos I have been watching has inspired me to step out of comfort zone and do something further for Christ. I've been praying about this for several weeks and everytime I do God speaks to my heart... Another deep cleansing breath...this time of faith to be brave for Him...