How well do you know your spouse?

Chris & I taking a break from IVF vlogging and having a silly afternoon together on Thurs Jan 28th. 

Update JAN 23 2016

Are you her mother?

My chauffeur and sisterly support today was played by the part of my good friend, Shana.

Shana and I had a good chat as we waited for my turn to go in for my saline ultrasound test. I had asked her to come back into the exam room with me so if I needed a hand to hold she would be there. Shana was sweet enough to be totally fine with that...

So off we go, when our turn was called up, I strip down to my birthday suit for the lower half of my body, wrap myself in there yellow-y-orange sheet that is always way too small for my ample behind and stomach.

Now, let me just clarify something at this point in the retelling of today's events. I.am.short. I am very short. I can't even reach the second shelf in our cupboards without straining on my tippy toes to reach the glasses up there. (Generally I just grab the hot dog tongs when I need something from the upper shelves instead of grabbing a stool, but that's a post for another day. I digress!)

So here I walk into the examination room, wrapped in this itty bitty sheet thing that is longer than it is wider and the nurse of the day has the exam table as high as my boobs. I mean...how am I supposed to hop on up there?

I don't hop well, people! It's awkward and makes me really uncomfortable when I have to "hop on up." I actually get more tense and more self-conscious which makes the awkwardness ten times worse.

I asked the nurse to lower the bed, which she reluctantly obliges to do. I swear there was something wrong with the bed. It kept making these grinding noises and jerky motions as she lowered it and raised it a few times. I had to bite my tongue to not ask for my regular nurses that know me well and always have the bed lowered upon my arrival.

"Lord," I prayed silently to myself, "this is that 'patience' thing you talked about during devotionals in bed this morning, isn't it? Mmm-hmmm....patience..." I sighed inwardly as the nurse said, "Now make sure the opening is at the back when you lie down."

I doubly bit my tongue then. I had a few sarcastic remarks running through my head as her "newness" or lack of perception just seemed to continue to ooze out.

I did hop on that bed. Okay, maybe hop is a strong word. I ungracefully wriggled on up there, trying my best not to show either woman my nether regions. I was unsuccessful in my attempt, but I will say I did warn Shana of this possibility so she can't hold that against me, I think.

Chris and I remembered to bring my slippers......which the nurse promptly told me I had to take off... (Why? They weren't in the way at all!) Shana was kind enough to remove them from my feet as I slipped my heels into the stirrups as best I could.

Next came the famous skooching down so my behind was practically over the edge of the table and finally with great relief I was in position and covered up modestly.

Doc came in and shook my hand....okay....that's awkward.... I think he must have asked me at least half a dozen times throughout the set-up and exam itself "How are you doing?" I really was okay.... I mean, I've done this before.... It's not a huge deal...

The worst part was putting in the speculum. It was very dry and cold.... shudders I squeezed Shana's hand during that point and kept thinking, "OW!" I mean, couldn't they have...moistened it somehow so it slid in nicely??

In went the saline and lo' and behold my beautiful uterus was up on screen for all of us to see! There was a "mass" in the middle of the uterus, but upon further examination the doctor noted it could be broken up easily which meant it was likely a clot from my period cycle currently ongoing. Now that's just a pleasant thought..... ugh!

The exam didn't last long, and before I knew it, it was over and we were told we had to wait 10 minutes in the waiting area after I got dressed before we could go and speak to my own doctor about the results.

That's when I found out what the nurse had said to Shana. while I had been stripping down for the exam! Well, let me tell you, I couldn't believe it when she told me! Apparently she had asked Shana if she was my mother! Ha!!!!!! I was mortified for Shana when she relayed the conversation to me. She is not much older than me and she sure doesn't look it!

Thankfully Shana has a great sense of humor and took the comment well. We had a good giggle about it... okay, okay...and good snort and giggle about it.... Oh all right! I snorted several times during the giggling! Are you happy now? I told the complete truth! deep heavy sigh

After the giggle fest we went upstairs to see the doctor and had a good chat with my favorite pharmacist while we waited. She's just the sweetest woman in the whole world and she brightens my day whenever I see her at the clinic.

Doctor came and fetched us and we headed into his office for a quick chat, which was pretty much stating the same information the exam doctor had. "Everything looks great. There was a blood clot which is no big deal. Continue with the estrace medication and we'll see you on Feb 8th again."

Okay.... great.... Nothing new there....

Praise God though....praise God that we don't have to worry about cancer in my uterus and praise The Lord for Shana's kindness in coming with me today. All those, giggles we had today, Shana, I'll never forget. :)

Thanks mom. *giggle....snort*

Mix-Up

There was a mix-up. I don't know if I screwed up or it was the doctor....Perhaps it was both of us!

Anyway, the ultrasound took place BUT it was the wrong kind of ultrasound. I am supposed to have another water test ultrasound done. Y'know the one where they tested out my Fallopian tubes to see if there were any blockages with the saline water? Well, they're doing that kinda test again but this time, to check out the uterine lining.... We're still confused because this test is supposed to tell us if I have fluid in my uterus.... scowls.... This makes no sense.....

I will say the incorrect ultrasound today -- the "normal" type of ultrasound -- showed no fluid in my uterus but I guess they want a more extensive ultrasound done on Thursday. So, I'm going back on the 21st @ 1:30 pm for that....

I'm getting kinda stressed. Our boss yelled at Chris today... She said something about "You're taking a lot of time off for IVF, and I'm happy you're doing it, but you need to step it up in the building." There was yelling and ranting after that... Honestly Chris does A LOT in this building. More than most superintendents. She threatened to come by on weekends to make sure he's doing his job properly. shakes head As for IVF Chris has only taken 4 days or half days off. Mostly half days... She is stressed and ranting because her bosses are showing up this week, but that's unprofessional of her to take her stress out on my husband. Chris just kept his mouth shut and let her rant, but the first words he said to me when he got back to my office were, "We're quitting today."

With all this going on, I'm getting more stressed myself... I was about ready to cry today when they told us that I had to come back on Thursday in the middle of the day for another ultrasound. I always have to work doubly hard when I return to the office and catch up for the rest of the day. There is no one to take over my position regularly. I am the only woman that runs the office and building. When I'm not there something always goes haywire! (It's not that I think I'm the only one that can do this job, it's just that I am the only woman that is doing this job. Normally there are two full superintendent couples to run a building this size. We have 2.5 people...we're short another woman to take my place. I'm doing the job of two people.)

Furthermore, I am now taking a new drug called "Estrace" which is estrogen. Estrace will start out in small doses twice a day for several days and increase to three times a day with double the dose.... When we increase it I go from an oral pill to a vaginal pill.  shudders Ick....

Great, now I'm going to be extra weepy, wishy-washy and down right crabby for the next month. I don't know if our marriage will survive that!

Then on February 8th we return to the clinic at some awful hour in the morning, almost before any crow of a rooster, to take a blood test and another normal ultrasound to check out my uterine lining. (They want to see it plump up in size from the estrogen pills). If all is good, we then return to the office again the afternoon (same day) so Chris gets his "education" for an inter muscular needle drug... (We thought his education would be today)

We will have to take Feb 8th off completely to accommodate both appointments as I need to be there for the afternoon education appointment so that Chris can administer the first shot of this drug on that same day. I know that our boss won't like we will be taking off a WHOLE DAY for the two of us on this day..... It's so stressful being worried about all this on top of the IVF/ICSI process itself....

I'm rambling, I know.... but.... I don't know what else to do.... near tears and feeling overwhelmed.... Even just hearing she yelled at Chris about all of this just hurts my heart for him/us....

Praying....

Update: A wonderful church friend is driving me and staying with me for my appointment on Thursday! Chris was worried I'd be at my saline/water test ultrasound alone. It'll be a more painful ultrasound...he worries y'know.... Anyway, thank you dear sister in Christ. You are wonderful! 

Ultrasound Scheduled!

Hey all!

The Fertility Clinic called this morning and scheduled my ultrasound for 9 am tomorrow. The morning receptionist was confused and thought she was scheduling my Embryo Transfer Day. She asked me lots of questions, wondering "Has your husband had his training on how to give you your UMI shots?" (I think she said "UMI"....Hmmm...")

"Uhm....no...." I said, "We've done all the other shots up until now just fine.... What shots are you talking about? You mean estrogen shots?"

I finally had to clarify with her that we were not scheduling the Embryo Transfer Day yet, we had to check out my uterus for fluid first. She said she didn't see that anywhere in my notes but said, "I believe you." That made me laugh!

It's funny because this afternoon the clinic called me again and the receptionist this second time was just as confused as the first. He said "there aren't any notes on your files other than your doctors notes." I'm guessing the 6 other nurses/receptionist I've been talking with in every call they make are not making the necessary notes and that's why I'm having to explain things to everyone over and over again.

The second receptionist wanted to verify we would be making our Embryo Transfer payment tomorrow. So we are spending $1,600 tomorrow! FUN! rolls eyes

We will most likely have to pick up the drugs for the shots the first nurse was talking about and have an education session for Chris. So, my hubby is coming with me tomorrow morning. I'm thrilled about that!

I'm quite nervous about the fluid thingy.... what happens if they do find fluid? How much more will that delay us? Will they take a sample of fluid to determine what the fluid is? Hmm....questions, questions, questions!

Ah well, pray for us if you get a chance! Still so exciting!

She's here!

Aunt Flo has arrived!

Yes, that needed announcing.

I've been waiting for her all week!

I called the Fertility Clinic and left a message for them so we can schedule my ultrasound.

One last check on the uterus before it's GO TIME!

Eeeek!

bounces off with excited happiness

I'm late for a very important date!

Quite literally I am late. It's been two days and no cycle! I can tell my cycle is on its way as I went through about a hundred different emotions today.

Chris woke me up and rubbed my back. I told him I didn't want to get out of bed and deal with tenants.... They're like children! "I want, I want, I want!" or "I need, I need, I need!" I constantly hear, "Rosie, you know I don't want to be a bother but...." or "Rosie, you really should have one of the boys do _______"

I'd say about 75 people on average come see me in a given day. 98% see me because they want or need something. I really enjoy just a "hello good to see you!" but that rarely takes place...

*sigh* So, I digress! There I lay in bed feeling awfully sorry for myself and very, very grouchy. I stomped into the washroom to get ready for the day and wouldn't let Chris kiss me. I was miserable and wanted to feel miserable.

By 10 am this morning I was giggling like a 9 year old over silly things our co-worker was saying... such a change in emotion!

By noon, I was fed-up, tired and wanted a nap.

Then at 3 o'clock I was resigned to the knowledge that I was everyone's "go to" person for their every whim and need. I had to multi-task and get 10 different things done in the next half-hour or the world at our building wouldn't ever right itself...

However, by five o'clock I was too tired to care and wanted my cat and blankey, feeling about 5 years old and ready for a good "zoning out time" for a half hour in front of the telly.

Yes.....a million emotions in one day.... yup the period is coming! I hope it shows up soon.....

One Problem Solved.......Only 109 more to go!

I've been trying to figure out a solution for carrying the baby up and down the stairs. This has been a problem that's been rattling around in my brain for many, many months.

I was so overwhelmed by the issue that I almost gave up on the idea of Chris and I renting a house and felt we may have to stick to renting an apartment for the first two years of our children's lives just because of this one teeny, tiny issue.

Well, what if we had more than one child? What if we have three or four children, as we do have four frozen embryos. I really didn't want to have to be cramped living in an apartment if we didn't have to. I wanted to have a house...a yard, perhaps a playground near by...

Yesterday, we went to look at a townhouse for rent. These townhouses are very different than most town homes as they look like low level apartment buildings from the outside. You have to walk into the building, to reach each individual town homes' door. This REALLY appeals to me.

One of my concerns from moving from an apartment to a house was our cat. I was afraid he might try and scoot outside once he saw the front door opened to the outside world. Mycah is not a runner, but he does get curious sometimes when the front of our apartment door is open. I know I wouldn't be able to chase after the cat with a baby and I can't stand the idea of Mycah being unsafe in the world outside, lost without us...

Another great feature about this style of townhouse as opposed to a traditional townhouse is the front entrance way isn't an issue. Most homes have 2 to 4 steps (on average) to walk up before reaching the front door. That's not something I can do with a stroller or a cart full of groceries or even on a wintry icy day. There was only one small step to reach the front hallway door of the townhouse and there was no steps inside at each person's front door as its designed like an apartment front door with just a simple threshold to step over.

But... the stairs issue was still bothering me.... how was I going to solve carrying the wee one up and down the stairs when Chris wasn't home during the day?

For most people, this isn't much of an issue. They have enough balance to hold the baby in one arm and use the banister with the other hand. However, I don't have that luxury. Thankfully one of the one requirements about the structure of the stairs was met. I can not walk up stairs that have that grand curve the fancy stairs. Y'know the kind I mean.... The ones that look like this?

Now, this staircase frightens me! It's open and I can see over the side, giving me a sense that I could lose my balance easily. The curve of the staircase means I have to think about where I'm placing my foot on each step as I balance more awkwardly to accommodate the curve of the stairs and finally the stairs are wide enough that I probably can't touch the wall as I'm holding onto the banister, so I would only have one hand on the banister for balancing as opposed to two.

I work best with straight stairs, preferably carpeted where there's a landing after 4 to 6 stairs so I don't get overwhelmed when I look down at the stairs. Sometimes, seeing the length of the stairs completely overtakes my panic and I stop dead in my tracks, rigid and afraid to move because I could fall a long way to the bottom.

I know it's completely irrational. I have only fallen down the stairs twice in my life. I tend to fall up the stairs more often than down, as I trip on the next step, not placing my foot high enough to avoid catching the lip of the step in front of me.

It's silly to be this detailed about the requirements of the stairs in our home...but it's something I don't have a choice about. I am disabled and I do require certain details about a home to be considered and typically these are things most people wouldn't even think about.

So, getting back to the stairs in this townhouse we looked at. The stairs met all of my requirements but one. They weren't carpeted. (I could slip more easily on non-carpeted stairs) That's not a big deal...with non-carpeted stairs I just wear slippers. Heck, I usually wear slippers all the time anyhow as our apartment is non-carpeted and I don't want to slip just walking around here, too.

The stairs had a landing going up to the bedrooms and also down to the unfinished basement. I could touch the wall quite easily while hanging onto the banister and I felt safe and comfortable while walking on them. I was thrilled. But still... the question kept looming over me. How was I going to carry the baby up and down these stairs when Chris wasn't here?

This morning I think I've come up with an answer. Baby sling/carrier. I know! Such a simple solution, right? Why didn't I think of it before?

This is completely possible...

Now...I guess you're all wondering what's going to happen to our job and all that, since we're supers and must live on site to work here? Yeah... well...that's details for another day. One thing at a time. The baby carrier dilemma is solved. 

............Now to just get pregnant and give birth n' all that....chuckles...(By the way, I should be starting my cycle this week and then calling the doc's office to set up an ultrasound appointment to check out my uterus one last time before The Embryo Transfer Day is scheduled. Whoo-hoo!)