Waiting for Aunt Flo

Well, our fertility drug counselling session was bumped up a day!

They originally moved the appointment time for tomorrow from 1 pm to 2 pm and we were fine with that change. We had moved our usual day off this week from Wednesday to Thursday to accommodate this appointment. Then, this morning I get a call from the clinic asking us if we can come in either today or Friday instead. So, we got the okay from our co-worker that he could work the day alone and we switched our day off
back to today.

The appointment was just to go over the drug information. We arrived at the clinic a little early on purpose to pick up our drugs from the pharmacist. I will be on Gonal-F at 112.5 units and then after 3 or 4 days add a second drug called... Cetrotide...yes, that's it.

The second drug will only be introduced after an ultrasound is done to see how body is reacting to the Gonal-F. Gonal-F will enhance my follicle growth. Apparently, it's likely I will really produce a lot of follicles as my follicles looked awesome when they checked my Fallopian tubes during that session where they pushed water through them to see if they were any blocks. The doctor performing the ultrasound that day stated how wonderful my follicles looked, so that's promising.

I have a feeling it'll be very, very uncomfortable once the follicles start to grow. As Carrie Sue from the YouTube videos "a Sue and a Jay" stated "it feels like a softball is stuck up there inside me".

Back to the drug information from today. We were taught how to prepare the syringes and needles and also how to inject them. (We used a pink foam puck as my guinea pig for my stomach). I will admit I am a little too enthusiastic with the needle puncturing part. I thought I'd have to really jam it in my skin before pressing down on the syringe to inject the drugs, but no..... the first time I pulled back to plunge the needle in the puck I stabbed my thumb instead. It didn't hurt, just shocked me! Chris chastised me dearly and I was thoroughly embarrassed (but kindly). Eventually I got it through my head that I needed to have "less oomph" in my abilities. I think I got it right in the end....

Now we are just waiting for Aunt Flo to arrive. I never thought I'd want to see Aunt Flo. (AF) But this time I'm hoping she comes on time (for the last two months I started at about the 29/30th of the month).

So, here I sit and wait...twiddles thumbs 

Learning to de-stress

In three days Chris and I will be heading into the Fertility Clinic to discuss IVF and all the different steps in the "Antagonist Protocol" we will be going through! Yay!

In the meantime, I'm just trying to find ways to stay calm and de-stress. I must say I'm really enjoying the de-stressing mode. :)

I've rediscovered an old try and true method that works for me. Yes, I'm just a big ol' kid at heart so... isn't any wonder that coloring seems to do the trick nicely? The more intricate and complicated the picture the better! Here is "Dreamer", my latest creation I'm working on. Isn't he lovely? (Yes, he's a he! I don't know why I know that, but he is...and he was in my dream last night after I started to color him yesterday evening..)

I picked up an adult coloring book called "Color Me Yourself 2" from Costco last week and boy, am I having some fun! Chris seems to be totally okay with my relaxing method in the evening now and I can actually feel my body ease and relax much quicker in the evenings.

Of course, other ways to relax and decompress at the end of my days has worked too. Good music, good dancing, great giggling with my hubby.... grins

Also, when I was really getting anxious about the tranquilizer last week, I went to you tube and typed in "egg retrieval" and "tranquilizer" and just happened to find another Christian couple who was going through the Antagonist Protocol treatment! Yay! They posted each and every step of their process and I must say, watching "a Sue and a Jay" videos really did help ease my mind.

So, slowly but surely I'm becoming more comfortable with the idea of a tranquilizer. I do not expect it all to be easy. I actually expect it to be very difficult and painful but I'm looking at it more positively and remaining relaxed.

I'll post again once Thursdays appointment is over! Tell y'all what happens next!

bounces off to snuggle with Chris in bed

Tranquilizer

This is such a scary word!

Apparently, I am going to be shot in the butt cheek with a tranquilizer.

chin quivers

Can you imagine the amount of pain that my body will endure just to remove my cute little tiny eggs will require a tranquilizer shot?!

Yes, I am terrified.

The Fertility Clinic made Chris and I watch this video of all the different steps we will take when going through IVF/ICSI so we are aware of the step-by-step action to get from Point A (not ovulating or pregnant) to Point B (ovulating and then quite possibly pregnant). Also within these videos we watched they mentioned the egg retrieval day. Then they said that Big Scary Word, Tranquilizer, and my itty bitty head screamed silently in horror and I honestly didn't hear another word after that. I sat there and panicked inside for the next two hours.

Chris kept telling me to calm down and that I'd be "fine".

"FINE?!" I wanted to shout at him, "Do you know how much pain my body must have to endure to deem a tranquilizer necessary to do this procedure?" I mean really, all Chris has to do is give another live sperm sample and hold my hand. *gulps* I........on the other hand..........

takes a deep breath

It's been five whole days since we heard about the tranquilizer and I gotta say I"m not any happier now, five days later, than I was about this prospect.

........................Why couldn't they have just said the word sedative? I wouldn't be so terrified, lying in bed at 3 am thinking of the word sedative, would I?

I will do anything for my babies........even allow the doctors to give me a tranquilizer shot in my butt, but I'm tellin' ya, I'm not happy with this whole scenario at all.

Mental Note: Always check your junk mail folder

The caller ID read "No Caller ID". I thought for sure it was one of those scam type things and almost let it just go to voice mail. I was just finishing my lunch hour and only had a few more minutes to spare before I headed back down to my tiny little office.

Reluctantly, I answered, "Hello?" I said.

"Rose?" A woman on the other end of the phone replied.

"Yes?" I knew who this was. I mean, I didn't know her by name but I knew she must be one of the women from the Fertility Clinic because no one but doctors and nurses call me, "Rose".

We got The Call! The second very important call in the same week! Wow! Here we thought we'd be receiving this call sometime next week and it was only Thursday and we got The Call!

Apparently she had emailed me some info which was bumped to my junk mail folder (which I check every other day). This email contained an information video we will need to watch in order to understand IVF. Also, she was calling to call about my weight loss and menstrual cycles.

I have lost some weight since we began this process, but not as much as I'd like. Apparently my BMI needs to be under 35 in order to eligible to continue with the IVF process. Thankfully it is... just slightly but enough to qualify. I will continue to drink water, swim and watch my portion sizes in order to continue to drop a pound or two to stay within the "safe zone". At this stage in the game, I really don't need anymore delays.

Furthermore, I am actually thankful for the "uterine lining meds" the doc has given me because it has naturally regulated my cycle into a pattern we can predict for my next potential ovulation cycle, which also means we were able to schedule the IVF counselling session!

Our session has been booked for the 24th. Then I will call them the first full flow day of my period to go back in and have my blood work done and an ultrasound performed. I guess it's double-check on everything Then, I will pay for those very expensive IVF drugs ($1,000 per "try" even with our drug coverage from work).

She mentioned something about having to go in a few times over the course of a few days once I receive the drugs. I'm sure it's to make sure things are progressing as they should within my body. If all goes well, they'll extract my eggs and Chris will give a fresh sperm sample.

Next the magic happens and some lab tech along with the doctor puts those two awesome pieces of us together in order for his sperm to find my egg. Maybe they'll play a little Barry White's "Let's get it on!" for our guys! chuckles Following this, the itty bitty embryo will be placed back inside of me to attach successfully to my uterine wall.

So... she said that should all take place by about the middle-ish of next month. grins

We can't help but be excited about the prospect of being parents! Are we aware of all the things that could go wrong along the way? Yes, we don't doubt that those things might happen, but we have faith that in God's timing. All we can do, is our part and stay positive!

I know these drugs will kick my butt. I know that this will be the hardest thing I ever go through in my entire life. I'm scared and nervous and so sure that God is with us.

"With faith anything is possible..." This is us dreaming about the possibilities tonight.... I think I know what cloud nine feels like now. :)

The Call

Got the call!!! bounces with excitement

Our fertility doctor's receptionist called me at 1:45 pm and squee! we received my CF results back! I do not carry the CF gene which means we do not have to worry about our children having CF even though Chris is a carrier. bounces with more excitement

She then said we will receive a call next week to set up our first appointment to continue on with our IVF/ICSI process. I'm assuming that means we will set up a time to go through our "IVF Counselling" in order to fully understand the IVF process and our roles in that process.

bounces just a little more...

When I told Chris the good news a whole hour after the phone call (he was busy in the compactor room) all he could say was, "Holy crap!" for a few minutes and finally "I need to get the baby room cleared out. I need to finish it." I told him he needed to finish sorting and selling his baseball and hockey cards. He didn't seem so pleased with that prospect but he knows I'm right. It's time to sell them. We will use the money to buy a baby crib.

Chris and I needed this good news... We really did... Praise God.....! Thank you Jesus! Hallelujah!!!

I am on my second month of menstrual cycles while taking the prescription drug medroxyprogesterone acetate (or "uterine medication" as Chris so aptly put it just now). This stuff is strong and it totally keeps me within walking distance of a bathroom every 120 mins. This whole shedding my thickened uterine lining business is not for wusses! You really have to be committed and stock up on those extra thick overnight with wings menstrual pads or you're screwed! Chris has learned very quickly which pads I need for which part of my cycle... the poor man is like every other husband in the world. Whenever I send him to the store alone, he'll call just to verify, "They're purple right? Is it okay if don't have wings?"

"No!" I respond in a panicky voice, "They must have wings otherwise they're ineffective! Please find the ones with wings in the purple color, hon. I swear they are there."

Once he even asked another woman in the store if he was getting the right ones, just to be sure. Chuckles...

So, with all that being said, Chris and I will have to celebrate this awesome news very soon! Maybe a candlelit dinner or a weekend away... grins I'll make it a night my husband can't soon forget!