Doctor's Visits

Chris and I both got checked out. We wanted to make sure our reproductive systems were okay for baby making.

I removed my Mirena IUD I had since 2010 due to extremely irregular menstrual cycles and figured I was okay from there. Chris went to his local walk in clinic at got the "okay" from that doctor as well. As it turns out, we were not okay.

I started to try and track my ovulation cycles about three or four months into our marriage. As it turns out, I wasn't ovulating. How frustrating is that?! Off I went in search of answers using google where I came across PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome).  Well look at that....! I have several of those symptoms.. I wonder if this means I'll never have babies, I thought. After making an appointment with my doctor's office I ended up speaking to a resident doctor who insisted I wait a minimum of three more months before being seriously worried. I didn't wait those three months. Instead when I visited the clinic, soon after, for a cough I couldn't shake, and asked my GP about PCOS. Thankfully Dr. L agreed with me, we both felt my lack of ovulation and other symptoms needed to be explored further. 

After Dr. L referred Chris and I to the Fertility Clinic they decided to do some blood work on both of us and well as some other testing on me. 

I went in for a hysterosonogram which basically means they inject salt water into my uterus and tubes to check out the lining of my uterus and flow of my tubes. As it turns out, I have a bilateral Fallopian tube blockage as well as PCOS. Yup! Aren't I the lucky girl? :)

The test was......weird..... I felt very odd as the tried to pump salt water into my uterus to check my lining and tubes. A good friend came with me as Chris still had to work. Thankfully my friend was there to hold my hand and put me at ease. Moreover the doctor who performed the procedure was so kind and understanding. I remember, before we even started the procedure he said, "If at any time you are in pain or too uncomfortable tell me to stop and I will. I work for you, you are not working for me." 

I felt in control when he said that. It was so reassuring! When things did get too uncomfortable (after about seven or eight minutes) he did stop and instantly the pain and uncomfortableness passed, too. 

Also, Chris' result from his sperm count test showed he has a low percentage of active swimmers. (Thankfully he's man enough to talk about this openly and honestly. I'm so proud of him for that!) 

Since I have this blockage problem I am eligible for my IVF treatments to be covered by OHIP. This coverage will be over three separate treatments. The bad part is Chris' difficulty will cost us an extra $1,500 per treatment ISCI (Intracytoplasmic sperm injection, where they take a single sperm and match it up with one of my eggs. Yup! We'll have a match maker involved in our baby making progress! ;) 

Furthermore the laws around IVF are changing. This window of three tries is closing, and closing fast! By the end of 2015 (and maybe by the fall) the law will change and my special needs case will no longer be eligible for the rules as they are now. I won't get my three chances option. We are having to get on this IVF thingy quickly. (Of course!) 

I will admit when we first heard all this news we had a moment's pause where we thought, "Do we really want to do this? It's so expensive!" but there's no way we could walk away from this chance without trying.

God has brought us this far for a reason...we will go the distance and do it together, no matter what happens with the results in the end.

The doctor has asked that I lose weight. (No surprise there!) I am now actively exercising regularly and eating better. I can already feel my clothes a little looser on my body and I will admit we had to buy new underwear today as my current ones are falling off me when I walk. (giggles) It's not much...but it's some progress!

I am a little overwhelmed and anxious about losing weight......I'm worried I won't lose enough weight for the baby to be safe and protected. I pray about this often. Thankfully our doctor has not specified a weight amount to lose but has said, "Any amount weight loss will definitely help." I find everyone very helpful, kind and professional at the clinic so this news isn't a terribly difficult blow, but one I did expect.

Tonight, as I type up this blog entry, Chris is in the "baby room" as he calls it, sorting through his hockey and baseball cards from his childhood. He is rifling through over 250,00 cards in order to decide which are "keeps" and which he can sell to save enough money for our fertility treatments.

I'm proud of him.... I'm proud of us for making some positive changes in our food choices and life in order to welcome this baby into our home. I'm so thankful to God for this opportunity we've been presented. Everyday we talk about the baby in some small little way... 

Just this week we picked out two onesies for a girl and boy. Having these onesies around will help me remind us why we are working so hard at this.. Every healthier food choice I make will be with the mindset that I need to be healthier for this wonderful opportunity the Lord has presented us. If God wishes for us to raise children to know Him, then isn't it our duty to start now, raising them in a safe and healthy environment within my body (temple) now? 

Oh Lord...show me the way each day... It's all about You, Jesus.

The Beginning

Two weeks into our relationship, Chris and I talked about wanting to have children. Now those of you who know us realize it only took 29 days for Chris to propose to me and let me tell you, I think if I have let him he would've proposed within the first few days of meeting me!

Our first talk about children, went like this:

Me: Well, how many children do you want?

Chris: (without hesitation or missing a beat) Six.

Me: Six?! Whoa, hold on here! Let's just start with one and see how we feel about that first kid and go from there.

Chris: Can we start trying now? (sly grin)

Me: No, we cannot start trying now! We have to get married first. Don't you dare come near me, mister! Chris! (I whacked Chris with my open hand and he tried to come in for a kiss) Stop it! (I ended up in a fit of laughter as he finally relented but looked at me with puppy dog eyes.)

Chris: ..........So we're going get married........cool!

Me: Wh-- I did not say that! I-I said....IF we get married --

Chris: No! No, you didn't say "if". You said, "We have to get married first". There was no "if" in there! (He's grinned like a Cheshire cat because he knew he has me trapped.)

I remember I quickly changed the subject and hoped he would forget my slip of the tongue but alas, he did not. Two weeks after that talk, there was a ring in front of me, and a pale ghost-like looking Chris down on one knee, waiting for my response. I couldn't resist him. I didn't want to. I knew God had already planted him in my heart. I was Chris' girl and always would be.

Our talks of babies lead to deeper conversations as time went on. I told him about the day The Lord whispered our little girls' name in my ear. It was long before I met Chris, long before I had come to know Christ....... Sometimes that time, feels like another lifetime ago......in a way it is.

This part of story I do not share so readily with everyone, but is an important part of who I am and my journey to who I have become presently.

I was once married......to a woman. I was with this woman for 9 years. It was a violent and unhappy union. Near the end of our relationship, I had begun to seek Christ in my life. There was one particular day, in the middle of a cold and snowy Canadian winter, I was trudging through thick, heavy snow lamenting to God about how I'd never have children and never have a little girl with the name I had picked out. Suddenly a new little girls' name came to mind. One I had no thought of that was my own. The Lord whispered this name to me. I disliked the name at first, because it was not the one I had chosen. I brushed the name aside and stomped off, trying not to give it all another thought.

Soon that marriage dissolved and I was left with this a sadness that was overwhelming. Slowly though, over the years and through prayer and healthy friendships, I regained my footing and found a love for Jesus I never knew could exist. All the while this little girl's name grew on me. My heart would say her name over and over again, as I clung to the hope that one day, I would be married to the person that The Lord had in store for me and we would have the children that God saw fit for us to raise to know Him.

My husband found me -- or rather I found him -- seven years after the pitiful walk and now here we are, praying together for our little Ruby Grace.