Joy to the World!

What joyous news! Well, our appointment at the fertility clinic went well this morning. After discussing all options with our doctor, Chris and I have decided not to go forward with our one free chance at IVF covered by the Ministry of Health but rather pay for the rest of the current IVF cycle ourselves. I know....we're crazy BUT we have a good reason for doing this!

One in every four woman who become pregnant miscarry. Our one chance at this could be over in just a blink of an eye! The remaining part of our IVF cycle, The Embryo Transfer Day (ETD), is at a very low price cost right now until February. So, we've opted to pay for this ourselves and then our paid ETD will be paid for by the Ministry for our next cycle...... So either I miscarry and then the Ministry of Health will pay for us to try again or the Ministry will pay for us to have a second child...... Yeah.... we're already planning for #2! Yes, we are that crazy! (Not to worry though, I still refuse to have six kids like Chris wants....that will never happen! Do you hear me Christopher? NEVER!)

So......how much will this cost us, you ask? Well, not including the Provera I will be taking to jump start another period on or about the 11th or 12th of January (squee!) and not including the estrogen shots I am so looking forward to having to take for three weeks or so.... The Embryo Transfer Day alone will cost us $1,600.

Do we know where that money will come from yet? Uhm.........Kinda....... we got a bonus at work which has helped us financially as of late. (Thank you Jesus for this job!) But.... it won't cover everything......... Well... we'll do our best. That's all we can do.

I think we've made the right decision. We've been praying about all of this for several months, as it was kinda hinted at us that this might be an option available to us because of how the new law was changing at the timing of it all.

Also, the other thing we had to decide on was whether we wanted to put back in one embryo or two little embryos into my uterus. This question is something we have been praying about since our first big talk at the fertility clinic all those months ago. We have prayed and prayed about this.... I even asked a group of ladies whom I love and adore what their thoughts were on the subject and you know what their response was? "When the time comes to decide, Rosie, you'll know what God wants you to do," and they were right. :) Such wise friends we have in our life...

The risk of miscarriage and a high-risk pregnancy is increased exponentially with multiple embryos babies inside my uterus. The idea that one of our little babies could die because of having two little guys/girls in there was just too much of a worry... Also, as I said to Chris recently, "If The Lord our God wants us to have twins, He will split that little embryo into two babies all His own. He doesn't need us for that."

So, we decided on one embryo into my uterus when the time comes. We both felt at peace with that decision and if we are meant to be parents,... It's all up to Him and His will....

We feel such JOY for being able to have this blessing and chance presented to us! Oh how exciting! So, will you pray with us as we go into the new year, faithfully continuing to follow our doctors orders with the appropriate medications? :) I will be going in for another ultrasound on or about the 11/12 so that can check on my uterus one last time. (I had fluid in my uterus when they looked at last. They just need to make sure that there's nothing wrong there -- it could've been just mucus...not big deal.)

We love you guys... thank you for all your support, love and prayers!

JOY and HOPE in 2016!

Bumped up!

Well, lookee there...

We originally had an appointment with our fertility doctor for January 18th, right?

With the law changing they've bumped our appointment up to December 23rd @ 9 a.m.

I pray I am over this cold by then...I need everyone to pray that this awful virus GOES AWAY!

The clinic just called me back again... since our appointment is the day before they start Christmas holidays more than likely our continued IVF process will be in the new year... that gives me a little time to recover from this cold.

The bad part is every time I have this tickle cough I get it for MONTHS.

I'm worried.........and praying through my worry.

What else can I do?

Love you all...

Babies on ice

Perfect for Ruby one day!

The doctor on duty at our lovely fertility clinic called me just before lunch -- which was much earlier than I thought they'd be calling me.

We have FOUR embryo babies on ice! When the call came, and the doctor said the number of embryos I just had this peace and joy come over me. Four.... it's a wonderful number.... It's a number I feel comfortable with and especially knowing that 88% of embryos survive the unfreezing phase.

So, perhaps we'll get 2 to 3 embryos available to us to choose from when we go in for the embryo transfer day.

Four...grins... Can you imagine? Four little embryo beings with Chris and my own DNA mixed together for the very first time... I wish I knew what those four little guys looked like... I mean...I kinda know from the other pictures on the Internet, but I wish I knew what my embryos looked like...

Chris just keeps saying, "Holy crap, we're gonna be parents!" giggles He can't seem to wrap his head around it. I just tell him, "God willing, we will...."

What is my next job until The Big Day? Honestly to get over this darn cold and get physical more healthy. I need to lose weight... If I'm going to be carrying a little being in my belly I want the best chance they could have of making it. So... here I go on that journey!

I'll be in prayer over the next few days as I continue to recover from this nasty cold about what steps I need to take to lose weight in a healthy way... The Lord will guide me, if I ask Him. He's kinda awesome that way....always willing to help... grins

(By the way, good news! I'm allowed to take Extra Strength Cold FX and Oil of Oregano as I need to, to get over my cold! Only one more dose of Dostenex to take on the 12th, so there's no big worry anymore of things affecting me negatively. I will say Dostenex leaves me with nasty headaches in the morning.)

I love you guys.... Prayer for me, would ya? This getting healthy/losing weight thing has never been my forte..

Surviving Eggs

Morning everyone!

I'm feeling much better than I thought I would by now. I'm still feeling lots of tugs, pulls and cramping but not too much... just every once and awhile. I've had period pain worse than this.

I will say, I love my recliner. grins I'm able to sit at just the right position to be comfortable and not feel any pain. I still do purposefully get up and walk around every so often, to keep things moving. Yesterday I wasn't able to stand up completely straight. I was kinda hunched over a bit like Quasimodo; hanging on to Chris or furniture as I walk.

I think the most painful thing is when I lie down in bed. Just going from a completely vertical position to a horizontal position makes those slightly sharp twinges full blown twinges that make me moan and squirm a little.

I'm keeping food down all right. I'm having small meals... I started with dry toast and Chris' homemade soup. Last night I had a real meal of pork roast, "chippies" (sliced thin potatoes seasoned and baked til crispy) and a few California veggies. I only ate half the piece of pork roast and small portions of the usual size. (Mostly just in case I felt sick)

I kept that down okay. Chris gave me dry toast this morning and then a little later on a scrambled egg with a slice of thin crispy ham.

The major news about my body is I have been able to use the washroom successfully! I know...too much information, but it was something I was worried about.

I am to still watch out for symptoms of OHSS. They've given me a chart to follow, if I have any of the symptoms. I need to monitor myself over the next week or two, pretty much until I have my next cycle.

The biggest thing I've been told is: drink lots of liquids! 2 to 3 litres/day. sigh I've never been good about keeping up with water intake........grumbles I'll try my best though.

This is what our embryo's look like on Day 1 (today)

So, onto the fun stuff! Out of the 32 eggs they were able to retrieve yesterday 18 look like they've survived and are usable. I know! Eighteen! So they will be continue to grow them, along with Chris' sperm inside 'em to maturity until Day five. (Wednesday) On Wednesday they'll let us know how many have survived this five day growth and how many they'll actually get to freeze. The more they freeze the better because only 88% of embryos survive freezing. 

They'll be waiting a few months to put an embryo baby back inside of me. This is not a quick process. We have an appointment with our doctor in January to follow-up and schedule that next step, but until then it'll just be recovering and avoid OHSS symptoms (hopefully). We are using the tortoise racing method as opposed to the hare racing method. Well, the tortoise won in the end, didn't he?

Chris is working today. Yup he is on fully duty 24/7. They didn't give us much time, did they? No... they really didn't.... Thankfully I'm doing okay physically so far, so I just hope that continues to go well...

I'll be resting and sleeping a lot today, but plan to make a lap or two around the apartment just for good measure as well.

Thank you all for your continued prayers for Chris and I and our little embryo family. :)

Egg Retrieval

Yesterday I woke up after taking milk of magnesia, my shots and my oral supper pill.... I felt awful. 

That milk of magnesia cleaned me out quite well, and the rest of the day went down hill from there. Did my 6 am injection shot alone as Chris was at men's group. All went successfully but right after the shot I felt so nauseous I could barely function. 

The rest of my Thursday consisted of lying down or sitting up with a garbage bucket beside me just in case I needed it. Chris brought breakfast to me which went down okay but two hours later it was gone, in the handy dandy bucket. (He was kind enough to clean it out without complaint.)

I ate a little dried toast Chris prepared for me after that, and just continued to doze on the couch all afternoon, giving one to two word sentences when necessary. I barely felt functional and I was starting to have my doubts that I could get through this. 

At about 6:30 pm Thursday night I told Chris I didn't know I could go through with this. I could barely function having had only one day of severe nausea, how was supposed to live through 9 months of that? I was being serious! Chris just stayed calm and listened to me. Encouragement me to pray and eventually helped me to bed when 8 o'clock rolled around. 

He gave me my prescribed sedative for the night, still with my doubts being spoken from my lips, kissed me goodnight and tucked me in. I have no idea what time that man came to bed. I slept heavily until a little after 1 am when I had to get up to pee. 

I remember feeling disappointed that it was after 1 am, since I wasn't allowed to have any water past midnight, but off I went back to bed, to try and get some more rest until 5:30 am.

At 5:30 am Chris kindly woke me up with kisses and hugs as we both got up to get ready for The Big Day. Any doubts I still had were muddled through the sedative fog I was feeling. To top it off, another sedative and antibiotic was handed me to take with small sips of water at 6 o'clock in the morning. I did my duty and took them without complaint.

Brother Gary, from Blackburn Campus and his lovely wife Katie, picked us up promptly at 6:30am. It's a short ride to the clinic and we were a few minutes early. (perfect timing) I almost dozed off again sitting in the waiting room to be called. 

Once we reached the prep & recovery room it was a bit different than I expected. There were reclining chairs for the ladies to sit in..... huh! I thought to myself. No recovery beds....

We were directed to a change room where we good put hospital downs on me and Chris could put on some overly wrinkled scrubs. He liked the scrubs and found them very comfortable.

Chris practically unchanged me himself since I couldn't physically do very much. Still feeling nauseous and very uncomfortable with follicle babies in my belly, I just kinda told him what to do when...

After I got situated in one of the recovery recliners Chris left the room to go down to a donation room to give his live sperm sample. (yeah no pressure there, right?) I told him not to worry about it, we had frozen back up if need be and my parting words to my husband as he walked away were, "have fun!"

The nurse hooked me up to two IVs through my right hand. One was for anti-nausea medication (where was that when I was home suffering?) and the other was pain medication for upcoming procedure. I don't think she gave me another sedative...but I could be wrong about that....

It was too long until Chris came back saying he had been "successful". 

Then off we walked into the surgery room. (I was so glad to have my walker this morning. I was unsteady on my feet and couldn't seem to stand up straight from the belly pain I was experiencing.)

They had to grab me a stool to stand on to get up on the bed, but that went more smoothly than I expected. Down I sckooched my little behind to the end of the bed, where they place booth my legs into stirrups... not my feet, just my legs and the knee bending joint. MUCH more comfortable for someone who can spread their legs easily due to Cerebral Palsy issues.

Chris was there sitting on a stool beside me, holding my hand. And our doctor of the day came in and placed tools necessary down into my body.... I don't remember everything that took place, but I wasn't asleep for the procedure. There was a screen you could watch to see what was going on. I opted to keep my eyes closed and just concentrate on getting through the pain.

Chris did watch the screen and so he could to see the little needle catch on to each follicle, take the eggs from the follicle, which would then flatten and empty that follicle completely.

In and out she went to each follicle she could reach.... I moaned through it all, but remained as still as I could, squeezing Chris' and the nurses' hand with a super grip from the major discomfort I was feeling.

Before I knew it the 10-15 minutes procedure was over. The nurse began to count how many eggs they were able to retrieve....32 eggs!

Off I went back to recovery and to sit in that recliner... Oooh how comfy it was! Eventually I felt good enough to try to eat a cracker or two and sip on apple juice. I was sore, but very little nausea which was such a blessing. 

Then came the walking to the bathroom pee test.... Yup, Chris helped with that one and I pee just fine. It was painful (being sore and all) but everything seemed to come out all right and my pee was the right color. (something we have to watch out for)

We were then allowed to get dressed and head home. I couldn't have gotten dressed without Chris' help. My body just kept saying, "Nope not gonna do that!" He helped me put on my socks, put the feet through pant leg holes and even put on my little boots..... What an awesome guy....

Now we're home...I'm situated in my recliner with the heating pad and a blanket.

Chris has already fed me soup for lunch (approved by the doctor) and I am sipping on Ginger Ale and Water respectively.

I am starting to feel a little nauseous again and suspect it's time for a nap... I'm hoping to encourage Chris to take one with me, and I think he'll be drained by today's events as well...

We will get a call later one about how many of those 32 eggs that are actually able to be used and also what Chris' sperm count number and activity looks like as well.

If you're willing, will you continue to pray for us? What a journey this has been so far and I can only imagine what will come next!

Joy comes in the morning

Wow........I'm so overwhelmed! Oh, where do I begin?

Chris was able to accompany me to the Fertility Clinic for our ultrasound appointment at 7:30 am. (No blood work needed)

Chris' sunrise photo taken Dec 1st posted on The Weather Network

So in I go to the exam table and lay down for today's ultrasound. I can tell something has been happening lately because I'm still feeling uncomfortable and...very full....

The ultrasound technician and Chris have geeky conversations about Comic Con and Star Wars as she begins to measure each follicle she's seeing. I will say I was barely listening to two of them because she was moving that dang ultrasound wand in every conceivable way within my uterus.

I just kept telling myself "Don't hit her." She did apologize a few times and I could tell she meant it. That helped. I remember saying outloud at one point, "I will not strangle you. I will not strangle you...." She thanked me for that one... chuckles The follicles that were tucked in the back were hardest to reach. She would press in hard to see them for measuring -- and measure she did!

Twenty-five follicles were measured this morning! Three of them are at 18 mms! What does that mean, you ask? Well, in all my research online it was really hard to find what type of number they were looking for to go ahead with the next step. I only found one website that mentioned 22-24 mms so I assumed our clinic would be the same. Oh no, I was wrong and I'm happy to say that!

We have scheduled our egg retrieval day for Friday morning at 8 o'clock!

Over the next few days I will following my new "Trigger Instructions". So...I hope you can follow what I am about to write out here...I can barely compute it all myself!

Wednesday December 2nd:

1. Do not take Gonal-F or Luveris today (we are all out of this drug anyhow, so need to worry)
2. Take your last dose of Cetrotide (we did this at 6:50 am this morning before leaving for our appt)
3. Take Milk of Magnesia at bedtime (2 tbsp of liquid)
4. Start Dostinex 0.5mg (oral pill) every day 3 days X 4 doses for the following days: Dec 2 (w/supper), 5th, 8th & 12th (at bedtime) (may cause nausea)
5. Take Lupron 0.6ml (injection needle) @ 8:00 pm

Thursday December 3rd:

1. Lupron 0.6m (injection needle) @ 6:00 am
2. Lorazepam (oral sedative) 1 mg @ bedtime

NOTHING TO EAT OR DRINK AFTER MIDNIGHT

Friday December 4th:

1. Don't eat breakfast. No food or liquids. You may brush your teeth. Partner (Chris!) MUST have breakfast if accompanying you in the procedure room
2. Weigh yourself and continue to weigh yourself every morning
3. Take your antibiotic (Flagy) (oral pill) and sedative Lorazepam (oral sedative) 1 mg with sips of water @ 6:00 am (may cause dizziness) 
4. Arrive at clinic at 7:00 am
5. Egg retrieval is booked for 8:00 am
6. You will stay at the clinic for 1 hour after your egg retrieval

Remember no scented products and no makeup, nail polish, etc.

The ideal time frame for sexual abstinence is 2-3 days prior for the egg retrieval for ICSI

They will be freezing ALL the eggs..Well I think they will take Chris' live sperm and inject my egg to produce an embryo and then freeze the embryos. 

Why are they freezing everything instead of placing "fresh" embryos inside of me? I have a greater chance of developing OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome). Remember how worried I was about that during the Ovidrel shot they gave me to end the first round of drugs? Well, you have a greater chance of developing OHSS when pregnant and if they place the embryo back in right now it could trigger OHSS. They want to reduce that possibility as much as they can. I guess this is the way to do that.

So......uhm........yeah.......lots to take in!!!

Chris just keeps saying "holy crap" over and over again. He says he feels like his feet are not even touching the floor. 

I am much more nervous and overwhelmed but it all. I know that will also give me an IV sedative and medication for pain while in the procedure. 

I.am.petrified. I don't know why. I mean, I've gone through lots of surgeries in my life. This is just like those surgeries and this procedure only lasts 5-10 minutes. It's done right in the clnic. No hospital required.

Chris and I are off work for a few days -- with doctors notes! Our boss had already approved us to have an extra day off today and our regular day off is Thursday. Now, we will also have Friday off, for egg retrieval. 

Also, I will be off work until Monday to recover -- doctor's orders. 

We don't know if our boss will be giving Chris the weekend off as well or if he'll have to be in charge of the building while watching me like a hawk. (You know he will be beside me all weekend, doing just the bare minimum to keep the building going, if he is on call.) I have to admit, I'm hoping we're both off until Monday as I would like him near by while I recover.

I will have a lot of cramping, perhaps bleeding and copious amounts of pain over the weekend... I wish I had a heating pad...... Thankfully I am allowed to take Advil, Tylenol and Gravol if I need to. I don't think I'll be leaving the bed or couch very much and may not be up to snuff even come Monday.

Chris is feeling apprehensive about transportation to and from the clinic of Friday. I think he's afraid of taking a cab and things not going well there. Also, I get the feeling he may need someone for some moral support before and after. He's a good man and just wants to make sure to take care of us both, to the best of his abilities.

When I heard the big news today, after the excitement and anxiety wore off, I worried about my job and my boss' reaction. This is not the type of job where you can just take time off work and feel like everything will just continue to go smoothly. We are essential to the smooth operation and running of this building... Thankfully though our boss was wonderful when I called her. "Don't worry about a thing. I will take care of it all and figure out who can cover you. You just rest and recoup." 

I cried with relief after that call.... I really did.... I felt at peace and like I really could concentrate on what we're about to do next to become parents.

Wow.........parents...........gulps.........This might all result in our daughter or son coming into the world....

We've have already prayed once together...a wordless prayer of tears and choked sobs....we feel honored to have this opportunity to try to have children. No words can express the joy of just being able to try...... With our fertility issues we really didn't know if this would all ever be possible for us.

Round 2 Stim Day 11

Sim day 11! Tomorrow is a our big ultrasound and bloodwork day! :)