Chris received a piece of mail from the fertility clinic yesterday. A year ago we froze his sperm in order to use it for the ICSI process. If we wanted to continue to keep his frozen sperm on file, we would have to pay $500 to do so.
We know that two of his little sperm guys are already placed inside my eggs, making those last two embryos we have frozen, waiting for us to use in September.
There is no reason to keep the rest of his sperm frozen in stasis. Chris and I have already talked about September being our last try at IVF/ICSI. If we are unsuccessful in the fall, we'll move on to looking into adoption.
Still, it was hard to check off "I decline..." on the form, sign it away and end further attempts at trying to have our own children. It was kind of a bittersweet moment, but I'm glad we did make that decision.
There's only so many times you can try before you start to feel like the merry-go-round of IVF will never stop. We have tried twice already. Our first attempt was unsuccessful with the right dose of drugs, and the second attempt...well....we lost Clover....
We are already starting to pray our attempt in September will be successful, but I will say, we are also praying about adoption.
The Lord will lead us...
In the meantime, it has become tough to see all the pregnant women and little babies at church. We've decided to take some time away from church and watch services online at home. Chris and I just need a moment to breathe without being bombarded with the knowledge we are not pregnant and we do not have children of our own.
Keep praying with us for success and know we are thankful for each one of you who have supported us along in this journey.
