Apparently they have a concern about my body and wish to rule out the possibility of abnormal cell growth in my uterus before they go forward with things. I'm not too concerned that it could be cancer but.... anything is possible. Since my uterine wall lining is unusually thick they will be taking some tissue from the wall lining during my next menstrual cycle to test the cells. My first thought, when he told us about the biopsy wasn't about my health, it was more like, "How am I going to get out there again on week day when we don't have a car?" Chris says I worry too much... Grins... He' s probably right.
During the visit we also went over a lot of statistics and percentage information about IVF. We discussed a few options they recommend for us, as well. The doctor still categorizes me as a "high risk" pregnancy because of my Cerebral Palsy. That's funny to me... their caution in calling me high risk shows their ignorance. As it turns out, I'm actually not high risk at all. I think I'm still part of a new phenomenon beginning to happen in our society. The number of women who have CP and decide to give birth are still so low that doctors are still unsure how to handle us and throw caution and high risk signs all around us for fear of not really knowing what else to do.
Having only one individual section of my brain that controls my legs muscles affected before my birth does not make me high risk. Chris doesn't want me to mention this to the doctor though, for fear he will decide I am a "problem patient" and our doctor may decide not to work with us any longer. *shrugs* Honestly I could care less if they label me high risk. I know I wish to have a schedule C-section and this special label will just me I get more TLC from the doctors.
There was a few more unexpected costs that came up in our discussion. He thinks it's a good idea to have some "back up frozen sperm" on hand for the day they perform the match up of sperm to eggs, just in case Chris' fresh sperm isn't giving them the results they need and also they feel it's best to freeze some of my eggs so future IVF attempts are easier to perform.
Freezing Chris' sperm will cost us another $500 on top of our other known expenses and freezing my perfectly gorgeous eggs will be $650.... Yowza! Who has that kinda money just lying around?!
This discussion lead to a more in depth discussion about a study that is ongoing within the Clinic. This is where things get complicated. Since they have labelled me "high risk" our doc only recommends one embryo be implanted into my super extra cushy lined uterus for each attempt. This study that's ongoing would allow them to decide, by a flip of a coin mind you, whether to implant my embryo on Day 3 of growth or Day 5.
Normally they would look at the embryo and decide whether the little embryo being is ready for implantation on day 3 or 5 by looking at its growth and development NOT because I've been placed into Group A or B of a subgroup into a study.
The upside to being part of the study is they pay for the $650 for our egg freezing.
We really prayed about our choices. Chris and I didn't want to make the wrong choices for our potential children. Already they were so many risks and factors to take in without the study being a part of all that information we had to absorb. Now, on top of all that stuff, there was this.... temptation to allow doctors to use me like a guinea pig in order to pay for the freezing.
Most people would say, "Don't risk it. Choose one embryo to be implanted and don't worry about what day they are reintroduced to your womb. The study is paying for your freezing! This is awesome news!" Chris and I didn't see it that way.
The doctor is basing my risk factor on false information. Cerebral Palsy does NOT make me a high risk pregnancy -- being overweight does, but the CP does not. The chances of twin births at 3 days is 30% and at 5 days is 35%. The chance of an even greater number of babies is 1% to 3% depending on what day the embryo is placed back inside my tummy. Those odds are so low compared to our chances of a single birth.
Furthermore, I don't have any desire to be a lab rat again for doctors. I've done it before. Once was enough. The stress of the study would just make things ten times harder.
Lastly, and most importantly, God is in control of all this. I really don't feel comfortable having doctors influence and manipulate things further than they have to be. It's great that we can use the latest scientific methods to help Chris and I conceive but I'd rather not have doctors manipulate things more than they have to. These are my potential children, NOT some lab experiment.
Now that Chris and I have jointly agreed not to be in the study I can refocus my efforts on losing weight. Since my first visit to the Clinic, oh so long ago, I have lots 9 lbs. :) It's a start! Only the beginning. It seems impossible to reach the little weight loss goals I've set for myself, but I am swimming 100 laps almost everyday now. I have begun to eat smaller portion sizes and healthier food choices.
I will do anything for my children. Everyday I make little changes s for God gives me strength to try another day -- and succeed!
I cannot wait to be within my BMI one day... I don't think that will happen before I need to start IVF but every step I make in that direction is a step of victory for God. He is my rock...my strength.... (and Chris is my cheerleader...(in a totally manly way)....grins.).
