Are you her mother?

My chauffeur and sisterly support today was played by the part of my good friend, Shana.

Shana and I had a good chat as we waited for my turn to go in for my saline ultrasound test. I had asked her to come back into the exam room with me so if I needed a hand to hold she would be there. Shana was sweet enough to be totally fine with that...

So off we go, when our turn was called up, I strip down to my birthday suit for the lower half of my body, wrap myself in there yellow-y-orange sheet that is always way too small for my ample behind and stomach.

Now, let me just clarify something at this point in the retelling of today's events. I.am.short. I am very short. I can't even reach the second shelf in our cupboards without straining on my tippy toes to reach the glasses up there. (Generally I just grab the hot dog tongs when I need something from the upper shelves instead of grabbing a stool, but that's a post for another day. I digress!)

So here I walk into the examination room, wrapped in this itty bitty sheet thing that is longer than it is wider and the nurse of the day has the exam table as high as my boobs. I mean...how am I supposed to hop on up there?

I don't hop well, people! It's awkward and makes me really uncomfortable when I have to "hop on up." I actually get more tense and more self-conscious which makes the awkwardness ten times worse.

I asked the nurse to lower the bed, which she reluctantly obliges to do. I swear there was something wrong with the bed. It kept making these grinding noises and jerky motions as she lowered it and raised it a few times. I had to bite my tongue to not ask for my regular nurses that know me well and always have the bed lowered upon my arrival.

"Lord," I prayed silently to myself, "this is that 'patience' thing you talked about during devotionals in bed this morning, isn't it? Mmm-hmmm....patience..." I sighed inwardly as the nurse said, "Now make sure the opening is at the back when you lie down."

I doubly bit my tongue then. I had a few sarcastic remarks running through my head as her "newness" or lack of perception just seemed to continue to ooze out.

I did hop on that bed. Okay, maybe hop is a strong word. I ungracefully wriggled on up there, trying my best not to show either woman my nether regions. I was unsuccessful in my attempt, but I will say I did warn Shana of this possibility so she can't hold that against me, I think.

Chris and I remembered to bring my slippers......which the nurse promptly told me I had to take off... (Why? They weren't in the way at all!) Shana was kind enough to remove them from my feet as I slipped my heels into the stirrups as best I could.

Next came the famous skooching down so my behind was practically over the edge of the table and finally with great relief I was in position and covered up modestly.

Doc came in and shook my hand....okay....that's awkward.... I think he must have asked me at least half a dozen times throughout the set-up and exam itself "How are you doing?" I really was okay.... I mean, I've done this before.... It's not a huge deal...

The worst part was putting in the speculum. It was very dry and cold.... shudders I squeezed Shana's hand during that point and kept thinking, "OW!" I mean, couldn't they have...moistened it somehow so it slid in nicely??

In went the saline and lo' and behold my beautiful uterus was up on screen for all of us to see! There was a "mass" in the middle of the uterus, but upon further examination the doctor noted it could be broken up easily which meant it was likely a clot from my period cycle currently ongoing. Now that's just a pleasant thought..... ugh!

The exam didn't last long, and before I knew it, it was over and we were told we had to wait 10 minutes in the waiting area after I got dressed before we could go and speak to my own doctor about the results.

That's when I found out what the nurse had said to Shana. while I had been stripping down for the exam! Well, let me tell you, I couldn't believe it when she told me! Apparently she had asked Shana if she was my mother! Ha!!!!!! I was mortified for Shana when she relayed the conversation to me. She is not much older than me and she sure doesn't look it!

Thankfully Shana has a great sense of humor and took the comment well. We had a good giggle about it... okay, okay...and good snort and giggle about it.... Oh all right! I snorted several times during the giggling! Are you happy now? I told the complete truth! deep heavy sigh

After the giggle fest we went upstairs to see the doctor and had a good chat with my favorite pharmacist while we waited. She's just the sweetest woman in the whole world and she brightens my day whenever I see her at the clinic.

Doctor came and fetched us and we headed into his office for a quick chat, which was pretty much stating the same information the exam doctor had. "Everything looks great. There was a blood clot which is no big deal. Continue with the estrace medication and we'll see you on Feb 8th again."

Okay.... great.... Nothing new there....

Praise God though....praise God that we don't have to worry about cancer in my uterus and praise The Lord for Shana's kindness in coming with me today. All those, giggles we had today, Shana, I'll never forget. :)

Thanks mom. *giggle....snort*